


Dan's Nightmares

by NeverBeenAWriter



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Best Friends, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Love, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:00:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22250704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverBeenAWriter/pseuds/NeverBeenAWriter
Summary: Dan has been having nightmares for over a week and Phil helps him find a way to deal with them, until he has to go away for the holidays and Dan has to cope on his own.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 42





	Dan's Nightmares

Dan didn’t know what had caused his recent onset of nightmares. Although he used to get them as a child, it had been awhile since they’d been this consistent and had such an effect on him. Maybe it was due to him switching his meds or due to his ever present awareness that he was getting closer to death without accomplishing the things he wanted to accomplish. Whatever the reason it was starting to become a problem. He hadn’t sleep well in over two weeks and he’d spent the past few days living basically on autopilot, waiting for his next chance to sleep. 

He had woken up at 6am this morning, heart racing from a dream he had nothing but a vague memory of. He spent an hour trying to go back to bed before giving up and heading into the sitting room where he and Phil normally ate breakfast together. Of course, Phil wasn’t awake yet, they’d only gone to bed around 3am. Dan normally went into his own room to wind down before bed, but lately he didn’t want to be alone in there. His bedroom was becoming a less and less comfortable place as it turned into the place his fears attacked him in his sleep. 

Now, instead of going to his own room, he’d wait in the main room with Phil for as long as possible until he ran out of things to distract Phil with and he eventually noticed the time and went to bed, leaving Dan alone again. Dan wondered if Phil noticed it, he was often very observant of Dan, noticing all his weird quirks; but he hadn’t said anything about it, which was odd for him. 

Dan stumbled around, struggling to make himself a bowl of cereal with the increasing tiredness washing over him. He could feel his eyelids closing and had a hard time forcing them open again. After a couple minutes he managed to get his cereal together and took a seat at the breakfast bar to eat. Every motion felt forced, he was overly aware of the effort it took to lift the spoon and remember to chew. He knew he had to call his therapist or something, this couldn’t go on.

Dan startled and almost fell off the stool when he suddenly felt a hand on his back. “What the fuck!” he cursed loudly. He spun around quickly, knocking over the bowl of now mushy cereal and spilling it everywhere. 

“Woah.” Phil jumped back a bit, trying to avoid the mess from getting on his new socks. “Sorry, Dan,” he said apologetically. 

“Where did you come from?” Dan asked, confused. Phil wasn’t sneaky, he should have heard him enter.

Phil chuckled lightly. “Dan, you were sleeping,” he said, getting a towel and cleaning up the mess of Dan’s forgotten cereal.

Dan looked around. The sun was coming in from the window now and the clocks read 9:30am. “What? No, I wasn’t sleeping,” Dan argued. “I was just lost in thought I guess,” he added. He got up and helped Phil with the clean up, actively fighting off sleep with every passing second. 

“Sure, whatever you say,” Phil replied. They cleaned in silence for a moment before Phil spoke again. “Are you okay, Dan?” he asked softly, glancing up to meet Dan’s eyes for a second before returning to his task of trying to get mushy cereal out of a rug. 

“Yeah,” Dan replied. “I just haven’t been sleeping well,” he answered, throwing all the paper towels into the trashcan and getting a washcloth to do one last wipe down. 

“I know,” Phil answered. He gave up on the rug and just rolled it up to wash in the laundry later. “I thought maybe you were struggling with a depressive episode and I didn’t want to bring it up,” he added, leaning on the counter and looking over at Dan.

“That obvious, huh?” Dan snorted. “I don’t think it’s depression this time, it doesn’t feel the same.” He sat back down on the bar stool and leaned his head in his hands, too tired to hold his head up without the help of his hands. 

Phil sat down on the stool beside him and smiled gently. “Want to talk about it?” he asked. No one could get Dan to open up like Phil could. Even as a child he’d kept his emotions bottled up, but it was different with Phil. Unlike other people who made him feel small, judged, week, and insecure, Phil made him feel comfort and support. He could always tell Phil anything and he knew that.

“I’ve been having nightmares,” Dan admitted, turning to look at Phil. “Every single night, every time I close my eyes. It’s non-stop and I’m so exhausted.” Dan could hear the slight break in his voice, he was just so tired and wrung out, he felt like crying but didn’t have the energy to. 

Phil put his hand on Dan’s knee and drew comforting circles with his finger. “Do you think they are trying to tell you something?” he asked, his voice sounding caring and concerned.

“I don’t know,” Dan replied. “I only remember small bits when I wake up but they all seem unrelated. It’s almost like my brain just wants to test my body and see how long it can go without sleep before I break.” Dan chuckled, but it felt forced.

“How long has it been since you’ve got any decent sleep?” Phil questioned, looking as if he was trying to remember the last time he’d seen an energized or engaged Dan. 

“About two weeks,” Dan answered. “It’s crazy what two weeks without sleep can do to you though, I barely feel human right now.” Phil gave him a questioning look so he elaborated. “I mean, every action feels forced, I couldn’t even eat my cereal because I didn’t feel like I had the strength to actually feed myself.”

Phil looked Dan up and down, clearly contemplating something. “Should I take you to the hospital?” he asked.

Dan chuckled. “No, Phil. I’m fine, I just need to sleep,” he replied.

“Can I help you eat?” Phil asked. “I can feed you,” he added.

“No,” Dan shot that idea down in an instant. “I am not having you help me eat, that’s embarrassing.” 

“No it’s not,” Phil insisted. “If I broke both my arms I’d expect you to feed me,” he replied with a laugh.

Dan smiled. “You know I would,” he said. “But this isn’t like that, I just need to sleep or drink a ton of coffee or something.”

“Well, coffee after two weeks without sleep is an awful idea,” Phil reminded, he wasn’t sure if Dan was awake enough to understand health risks right now. “But, I do have an idea,” he added with a wide grin.

“What is it?” Dan asked, his head having slid from his hands onto the counter so he now looked like a student who was sleeping at their desk. 

“You can’t sleep because you’re scared the nightmares will come back, right?” Phil questioned.

“Yes,” Dan answered. “Where is this going?” Dan asked. Knowing Phil, he could have read some kind of weird life-hack online where if you sleep with a lemon slice on your head you wont have nightmares, or something equally as stupid.

“Why don’t you sleep in my bed,” Phil suggested. “Than if you wake up from a nightmare I’m right there.”

“That’s a terrible idea,” Dan replied immediately.

“Why?” Phil asked, looking a bit sad that Dan shot down his suggestion so fast. Dan paused, he knew it was a horrible idea, his brain told him that but he was far too tired to remember why that was a bad idea. It was a bit weird but Phil didn’t seem to mind it. Phil’s bed was big enough and they had similar enough sleep cycles that they wouldn’t constantly disrupt each other. So why was it a bad idea? He couldn’t remember. 

“I don’t know,” Dan replied after a minute with a soft chuckle. “I think I’ve forgotten.”

Phil laughed. “Guess that settles it than,” he replied with a smile. “Why don’t you go lay down in my bed, and I’ll just grab a bite to eat and then come join you.”

“Right now?” Dan asked. “It’s the middle of the day.”

“It’s only ten, we sleep later than that some days, and anyway I have editing to do so you can sleep beside me while I do it in bed, it doesn’t matter if I do it in there or out here.” Phil’s logic couldn’t really be argued with, at least not to Dan, not right now. 

“Okay,” Dan replied softly.

Phil smiled wide knowing he’d won. “Go lay down. I’ll be there in a minute,” he said, starting to fix himself his own bowl of cereal. Dan nodded and headed down the small hallway and into Phil’s bedroom. It wasn’t weird to be in Phil’s bedroom, or even in Phil’s bed. It wasn’t unlike them to stay up late watching a film together on one of their beds, or to ask the other one to look at something on their laptop, or really many other various reason they ended up on each others beds. Point is, Dan felt comfortable in Phil’s room, almost as much as in his own. He pulled back the covers and got into the bed on the side he knew Phil didn’t sleep on and snuggled up with one of Phil’s pillows between his arms; a weird habit he and Phil shared. 

Dan felt his eyes threating to close again but he forced himself to stay awake until he seen his best friend come into the room and give him a soft smile. Phil sat down beside him and put his hand on Dan’s arm. “I am here, okay? I won’t go anywhere, you’re safe,” he said, comforting Dan and trying to create a place for him to have good dreams instead of bad.

Dan’s exhaustion took over him and he felt a few tears drip from his eyes. He was so far beyond tired and Phil was so far beyond understanding. He felt the tears be wiped from his cheeks but Phil didn’t say anything, he just kept his hand on Dan’s arm to remind him he was close and watched his friend as he fell into a comfortable slumber.

It was mid evening by the time Dan woke up again, his hunger waking him from a deep sleep. He groaned and opened his eyes, finding Phil still sitting in the bed beside him. “Morning,” Phil said with a smile. “Or, evening I guess.” He chuckled. Dan just stared at him, his brain still trying to turn back on. “Did you sleep okay?” Phil asked, closing his laptop and turning his attention to Dan.

“Yeah, actually,” Dan replied. “No nightmares,” he added. Phil grinned. “Did you stay here the whole time?” he asked, sitting up and checking the clock. It was 7:24, he had slept for about 10 hours. 

“I slipped out a few times,” Phil admitted. “I kept an eye on you though, made sure you were still sleeping soundly.”

“Thanks,” Dan said, stretching his stiff limbs. “Sorry you wasted your day.”

“It’s fine,” Phil replied. “I got my work done and I was able to help you out, that’s not a waste at all.” Phil smiled at him and Dan smiled back.

“I’m gonna go get something to eat,” Dan stated. “Have you eaten yet?” 

“Nope, but pizza should be here any minute,” Phil replied. “I ordered it about a half hour ago, I knew you’d be hungry when you woke up.”

“Thanks, Phil,” Dan said warmly. He always appreciated Phil, but it days like this when he was reminded how lucky he was to be rooming with his best friend and platonic life partner. 

They spent the rest of the evening eating and playing games together. Phil mentioned numerous times that he was thankful to have “his” Dan back, happy that Dan seemed like himself again. Dan blushed a bit when Phil referred to him as “his” even knowing the context it still flustered him a bit. Before they met Dan had been a fan of Phil and developed a bit of a crush. Although they lived together now and he very rarely had thoughts like that, sometimes his fanboy mind would pop back in for a second and be amazed that he really did share a flat with his teenage celebrity crush.

It was only much later in the night, around 2:00am when both the men had settled into their own rooms when Dan remembered why sleeping with Phil had been a bad idea. Now his bedroom felt lonely and dark, shadows on the wall bringing back flashes in the nightmares. When he and Phil used to travel together it wasn’t uncommon for them to share a room to reduce cost, and every time when they got home it took Dan almost a week to get used to sleeping alone again. That’s why it was a bad idea, this feeling of being alone that came after.

Dan tossed back in forth, trying a bunch of different positions and hoping he’d fall asleep. He put on a podcast and tried to pretend he wasn’t alone. After a while he sighed and threw the covers off him, staring up at the ceiling. Eventually he got up out of bed and went to use the bathroom just to try and reset his brain. As he was walking back to his room he heard Phil call out to him. “What?” Dan questioned softly, opening Phil’s door and poking his head inside.

“I heard you get up and I was just wondering if you’d slept,” Phil asked, clearly having been asleep himself only moments ago based on his voice. 

“Yeah,” Dan answered, not wanting to bother Phil.

“Good,” Phil replied, sounding pleased. His eyes feel shut and he drifted back off to bed.

Dan smiled at his sleeping friend and quietly closed the door. He returned to his again and spent another hour tossing and turning before he gave up. He grabbed his favourite pillow and his water glass and carried them across the hall. He opened Phil’s door and slipped inside, doing his best to be quiet. Phil stirred in his sleep and opened his eyes, looking at Dan. “I lied, I can’t sleep,” Dan admitted. “Can I join you?” he asked, shy and sheepish. Phil smiled at him and lifted the covers, allowing Dan to slid into the bed beside him. “Thanks,” Dan said softly. Phil just nodded and laid back down returning to his slumber.

The next few nights Dan didn’t even try to sleep in his own bed, he left his thing’s in Phil’s room and just slept in with him. They’d had a good discussion about it in which Phil insisted he didn’t mind. He’d shared a room with his brother often as a kid and wasn’t bothered by another person. “It’s not an issue, so if it’s helping you right now than I don’t see the problem.” Phil had said. Dan wasn’t as sure about it as Phil was, knowing that he was getting a bit too comfortable sleeping next to Phil, but at the same time he knew he didn’t want to go back to his room, so he picked the option that caused the least issues for right now. He would deal with his over attachment later.

Dan ended up staying in Phil’s room for most of a week before he made the move back to his room across the hall. “I’m glad you’re feeling better,” Phil said, as he helped Dan move the small collection of his things that he’d built up in Phil’s room.

“Yeah,” Dan agreed. “I finally feel like myself again,” he added, rearranging his things so they were back in their correct spots. “Sorry for making you put up with my half robot state for the past few weeks.” Dan laughed, looking back on it was funny despite the few embarrassing moments.

Phil laughed as well. “Not a problem,” he replied. “I do like this version of you so much more though,” he added. “You think you’ll be good, sleeping in here tonight?” he asked, as he watched Dan fluff his pillows and then flop down on the bed.

“I have to be,” Dan replied. “Can’t just permanently move myself into your room,” he added with a chuckle.

“I suppose that’s true,” Phil replied, matching his jokey tone. “It was kind of fun though, sort of like summer camp.” 

“Geez, really?” Dan questioned. “Thought you’d be really sick of me by now.”

“We spend basically 24/7 together, a couple more hours wouldn’t make the difference,” Phil replied.

“True enough,” Dan agreed. “Anyway, thanks for letting me crash with you,” he added.

“Anytime,” Phil replied with a smile. 

That night, Dan tried his absolute hardest to fall asleep on his own, he closed his eyes and did breathing exercises, hoping that eventually he’d fall asleep, hours passed but finally he did drift off. It didn’t take long for the nightmares to return, but unlike before where they were mostly him being chased or haunted by some kind of shadow creature in the woods, these were different. Tonight his dreams had a single focus and that focus was making him watch Phil die in various ways. After a surprisingly violent one he jolted awake with a scream. He looked around finding that he was in his room in the flat he shared with Phil and took a deep breath feeling his lungs fill with air. 

His bedroom door swung open and he seen Phil enter into the room. “Are you okay? Phil asked frantically. 

“Yeah,” Dan replied. “Sorry for waking you,” he added. He stared at Phil, taking in the fact that he truly was alive and well. Flashes of the nightmare came back and he wrapped his arms around himself feeling emotions hitting him. His biggest fear was losing the people he cared about, and he cared about Phil more than anyone else. 

Phil noticed Dan’s demeanor change and took a seat on the bed beside him. “Are you sure your okay?” he asked again. Dan shook his head this time and reached out to Phil who quickly put his arms around him. “I’m here Dan, nothing can get you,” Phil reassured. 

Although Dan had every intention of sleeping alone that night, when he woke up he found that he was in his own bed, but Phil was still asleep right beside him. He looked so calm. Dan smiled, Phil really was always there for him, both physically and emotionally. He couldn’t imagine his life without him. 

Dan carefully got out of bed, not wanting to wake Phil, and headed into the shower. He felt the warm water rush over his skin and let out a sigh. He tried to never think about having to be away from Phil, but sometimes he was reminded by his own cynical brain that this wasn’t permanent. He had already gotten so lucky so many times, meeting Phil, moving in with Phil, getting to spend so many years with Phil, but someday someone else would realize how special Phil was and Dan would lose him to that lucky person. Maybe Dan had always known that his teenage crush had developed into feelings maybe he just spent so long denying it that he almost forgot himself. It wasn’t like he needed anything more than what he currently had. 

He knew Phil loved him and he loved Phil, it didn’t need to be romantic or sexual, but sometimes he just wished he could have the commitment of a relationship. They always talked about a future together, saying things like “our house” or “our dog” when they spoke of future plans, but Dan didn’t really believe it, eventually Phil would leave him. Dan shook those thoughts from his head and smiled. For now, he had Phil and that was enough.

Another week passed and Dan got used to sleeping in his own bed again. Phil had insisted they start sleeping with their doors open so he could hear if Dan needed him and Dan had agreed. At first it felt weird but he could now admit that it helped him. He wasn’t having the nightmares anymore and when he felt anxious he’d just be as quiet as possible and listen for Phil’s sleeping breaths, finding comfort in knowing Phil was close.

Everything was fully back to normal now, they’d even had a great week, but Dan’s world was flipped when a week before Christmas he heard Phil on the phone with his family. “Yeah of course, I wouldn’t miss it,” he said into the phone. “I will see if I can get a ticket for tomorrow instead of the one I already have booked.” “Yeah, okay.” “Love you too, bye.” Phil hung up the phone and entered into the lounge where Dan was just scrolling on his phone.

“What was that about?” Dan asked, turning his attention to Phil.

“My mom wants me to see if I can get a flight tomorrow, they are having a family gathering and they’d like me to be there,” Phil replied. Dan’s heart sunk. He knew that with the Christmas coming up Phil would be leaving to visit his parents. He did it every year, it wasn’t new but normally he’d at least get a few more days with him before he left.

“That’s nice,” Dan replied with a smile. “You can borrow my laptop to check for flights,” he said motioning to the laptop on the table in front of him. 

“Thanks,” Phil replied with a smile, he took Dan’s laptop and in a matter of minutes he booked a flight that left the next morning. “You sure you’ll be okay spending Christmas alone here?” Phil asked, before confirming he only wanted one ticket.

“Yeah,” Dan replied. “We can celebrate when you get back,” he added. That had always been their tradition so he was used to it. 

“You know you’re always welcome to come, right? My mom would love to see you again,” Phil said.

“I know, but it’s your family time, you should be spending time with them not with me, I don’t want to be in the way,” Dan replied. “And anyway, I don’t know most of the people who will at that family gathering and you know I don’t like new people.”

“Not even a bunch of Lester’s?” Phil teased.

“Especially not a bunch of Lester’s,” Dan replied with a teasing grin.

Phil laughed before returning to a more serious tone. “You know you’re never “in the way” right?” he asked, making air quotes. “My family adores you and they’d love to have you.”

“I appreciate that,” Dan replied. “But I’d really rather just stay here,” he added, giving a smile to assure Phil. Dan wasn’t one for family gatherings as they didn’t hold good memories for him, and on top of that he wasn’t confident he wouldn’t wake up in the night screaming and he didn’t want to bother anyone. Plus, he knew Phil would focus on him even if it meant he was spending less time with his family. This was the right choice, he convinced himself of that.

“Alright,” Phil responded not wanting to push Dan into doing something he didn’t want to do, despite Phil not thinking Dan should spend the holidays alone. Plus, he never liked spending too long away from Dan, especially not around any kind of special day.

“How about I make us a nice dinner while you go pack?” Dan said with a warm smile.

“I’ll pack later,” Phil replied. “Let’s cook together,” he added, wanting to spend every last minute he could with Dan, this trip would be over a week and it had been years since they’d been apart that long. 

“How about I cook and you watch and help with some simple tasks?” Dan teased, walking over to the kitchen area.

“Hey!” Phil called after him, getting up and following him. “You know I’ve gotten better,” he insisted.

Dan shrugged. “I don’t think I’ve seen evidence of that,” he replied with a chuckle. He had improved and Dan knew it but sometimes he liked to cook for Phil and anyway improvement from almost setting the place on fire still wasn’t great. Phil gave a fake pout that was quickly replaced with a smile as they made dinner.

Phil’s flight was early the next morning but Dan still woke up to see him out, wanting to say one last goodbye before their week apart. They hugged and said quick goodbyes before Phil left, leaving Dan alone in the empty apartment. He’d had a rough night sleeping, knowing that Phil would be away for so long kept him awake most of the night so he decided to go back to bed and sleep most of the day away.

He awoke around late afternoon and checked his phone, seeing a text from Phil to let him know he’d arrived safely. He also included a picture of himself, his brother, and his mom. Dan smiled and texted him a quick message back before getting up to start his day despite the late hour. Dan showered, ate, and then sat down to play some games online, playing with other people helped him feel less alone when Phil wasn’t home. 

Dan passed the first few days in basically the same manner, spending most of his time playing games or browsing the internet, sleeping wasn’t going so well so he’d decided to just stop trying, by the third day he had fallen asleep on the couch while playing a game and awoke to a Game Over screen and his phone ringing. He picked it up, hearing Phil’s cheery voice. “Hey, Dan.”

“Hey,” Dan replied, groggily, he held the phone a bit from his ear as he found Phil’s voice a bit too loud when he was this tired. “What’s up?” he asked, trying to mask his exhaustion.

“Not much, just waiting for some gingerbread cookies to bake so we can decorate them,” Phil answered. “I’ll send you pics of my masterpieces when they’re finished,” he added with a chuckle, knowing full well they would look a mess.

“Sounds fun,” Dan replied with a smile.

“Are you okay?” Phil asked, hearing that Dan sounded a but off. “Have you been sleeping okay?” he added, his voice sounding more concerned.

Dan did his best fake laugh. “Yeah Phil, I’m fine,” he answered. “I was just up playing Guildwars all night,” he said, not wanting to make Phil worry about him. It wasn’t fully a lie since he had stayed up playing it, but he’d stayed up because sleeping without Phil around was unpleasant to say the least.

“You sure?” Phil asked again. “The nightmares haven’t returned, have they?”

“No they haven’t,” Dan responded. That much was true at least, the nightmares hadn’t returned. His reason for having trouble sleeping now was something almost more concerning to him, he missed Phil too much. He missed his presence and the knowledge of his close proximity. Maybe he’d gotten even more clingy since last Christmas when they’d last been apart, or maybe he just forgot how bad it feels when Phil’s not around.

“Okay,” Phil replied, sounding reassured. “I always leave me phone on for you, you know,” he added, reminding Dan just in case of emergencies.

“Nothing’s gonna happen, Phil, I’m fine,” Dan insisted. “I look forward to seeing your masterpieces,” he added, chuckling at the thought of what they will most likely look like.

“Oh right, I should go check those,” Phil replied with a laugh. “Talk later.”

“Yeah,” Dan replied before hearing Phil’s phone click off. He sighed, it had been 3 days and he missed Phil’s voice enough that a quick call made him feel overwhelmed. He blamed it on being overly tired and laid down again hoping to sleep some more.

Dan tossed back and forth on the couch, too tired to move to his own bed. After over an hour he got up and forced himself to eat something before he moved to his bedroom to try sleeping again. ‘This is so fucking stupid,’ he thought as he groaned in annoyance at himself, he was an adult man and there was no need for him to feel this way, yet he did. He felt alone and he hated it. ‘I should have just gone with him,’ he thought. He imagined himself and Phil making gingerbread and chuckled at the images in his mind. He rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. “I miss him.”

Dan wasn’t impulsive, he was organized and well planned, not being a fan of surprises or spontaneity, so it shocked even himself when he got up off the bed and started packing a suitcase. He shoved some random clothes into it, took his phone, laptop, and cables and headed off to the train station. He called an Uber and quickly dressed as he waited, thankful that it was nearby. He ignored any and all conversation that the driver tried to initiate, apologizing and claiming he was just too tired.

He barely remembered getting from the Uber onto the train, feeling himself drifting in and out of sleep and the bump of the train tracks made a steady rhythm. He considered calling Phil, but he had a feeling if he heard Phil’s voice he’d be brought back to the reality that this was a foolish idea and he’d turn around and head home. No, he couldn’t do that, he’d come too far. 

Dan felt himself come out of a sleep fog as they got close to the isle of man, it was as if his body knew he was getting close to where he needed to be. He watched as they pulled into the station and grabbed his things, unboarding as fast as possible. He called a cab and stared out the window as they drove, he knew he was getting close to Phil’s parents place, it was familiar and comforting. He fiddled with the sleeves of his oversized jumper, feeling his heart racing. Has this been a bad idea? Maybe, but it didn’t feel like a choice. 

As soon as the house came into view Dan felt all the worries he’d had on the way there dissipate. He paid the driver and took his bags from the trunk, standing outside in the dark as he texted Phil. 

Phil heard his phone jingle, taking a moment to register the sound. He heard it three more times and quickly reached for it, knowing it must be Dan. There were three texts all the same just “*bonk*”. Phil was perplexed and texted back. “Are you sleep texting?” he sent the message through and seen that Dan was typing back, then the dots vanished and he seen a call coming through. “Dan, are you okay?” he asked quickly.

“Yes, Phil, I’m fine,” Dan replied with a smile at hearing his voice. “I just didn’t want to damage your window by throwing rocks at it,” he added with a chuckle.

“What?” Phil asked, still half asleep and very confused. 

“Just come downstairs and let me in, it’s dark out here,” Dan replied, hating the darkness around him. 

“Dan, I’m not home, remember?” Phil responded, sounding even more confused by the minute. 

“Phil, I am here at your parent’s house,” Dan said, realizing Phil didn’t understand. 

“What? Why?” Phil asked. “Is everything okay?”

“Come let me in and we can talk, yeah?” Dan replied with a chuckle.

“Right, right. I’ll be right down,” Phil said quickly before hanging up the phone. Dan lifted his bag into the front step and waited by the door. He seen the lights come on and felt a rush of warmth. The door swung open and a messy-haired, glasses-wearing, very confused looking Phil stood in the doorway.

“Can I come inside?” Dan asked, teasingly. Phil stepped aside and helped Dan with his bag before closing the door quietly behind them. They stared at each other for a moment both unsure if this was a weird dream. “Hey,” Dan said softly, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

Phil smiled wide and pulled Dan into a tight embrace. “Hey,” he muttered back. Dan wrapped his arms around Phil and let out a content sigh. This had been the right choice. Phil pulled back and looked Dan over. “Is everything okay at home?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Dan replied. “I’m sorry for showing up without warning, I just couldn’t take it anymore.”

“Take what?” Phil asked.

“Being away from you,” Dan admitted, face heating up. “It hurts Phil, being away from you physically hurts.” Dan was so tired, so hungry cause he’d forgotten to eat, and so absolutely emotionally drained he felt his eyes getting wet and fought back tears.

“Dan,” Phil looked hurt, “Why didn’t you tell me? I could have come home or gotten you a flight.” He could sense Dan’s emotions and pulled him back into a hug to try and calm him.

“Cause it’s stupid,” Dan said softly.

Phil chuckled softly. “It’s not stupid, Dan,” he assured. “I feel it too,” he added.

“What do you mean?” Dan asked, his voice barely a whisper.

“The ache when we’re apart, I feel it too,” Phil answered, tightening his grip on Dan.

“Then, can I please stay?” Dan asked, feeling the tears drip down his cheeks. He felt broken and he needed to feel put back together again.

“Please,” Phil replied, feeling whole again now that Dan was next to him. “And, Dan,” he added, getting Dan’s attention. “I love you, too.”

Dan’s eye went wide. “What do you mean?” he questioned. Sure he knew Phil loved him, they were best friends but they didn’t use that word with each other, not unless they were making some kind of joke. Plus, he hadn’t said it, how could Phil say ‘too’ if he hadn’t said it first.

“Am I wrong?” Phil questioned. Dan shook his head no. “I didn’t think so,” Phil replied with a soft smile. “You don’t have to say it, I know you have a hard time with words like that but I know you, this, right here. Phil gestured at Dan’s bag to imply his impromptu trip. This is your way of saying it.”

“I love you,” Dan said softly. “I’m pretty sure I’ve always loved you.”

“How convenient, so have I,” Phil replied with a bright smile. 

Dan’s face lit up and he felt fully alive, everything in his brain screaming and every nerve ending lighting up, he leaned in and kissed Phil softly. Phil kissed him back and Dan felt an overwhelming sense of calm, this felt right, like it was meant to be. 

Phil pulled away from the kiss first. Hearing Dan’s stomach whine in hunger. “I think you need something to eat, and then a long sleep,” he said with a chuckle.

“Can I sleep in with you?” Dan asked.

“Of course,” Phil replied warmly. “I’ve missed you in my bed,” he admitted, a slight blush forming on his cheeks.

“Me too,” Dan agreed.

Once they returned to Phil’s bedroom and laid down together, it took Dan all of five minutes to fall into a deep sleep. Phil smiled and pet his hair calmingly. “I missed you so much,” he muttered. He reached for his phone, planning to turn it off since the only reason he’d kept it on was for Dan. He seen a text from his brother. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but I am so happy for you guys. If mom asks any questions should I make up a cover story?” Phil chuckled quickly at his brother’s text. “Just tell her we will explain when Dan eventually wakes up, that may be awhile though haha.”

It was indeed a while, but when Dan did wake up it was in Phil’s arms, in Phil’s bed, in Phil’s room, of Phil’s old house. A house that was accepting and excited and who welcomed him with open arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading ^^ This was written based on a Prompt from someone on twitter ^^
> 
> If you want to leave a request feel free to tweet or DM me on twitter @BeenWriter


End file.
